Do you ever find yourself wondering about the love of your life?
Who are they? What are they after in life? What is it they really want? How do they feel about themselves? Who are they trying to be?
Most of us do it every single day.
We find ourselves wondering, Who am I? What do I want out of life? What is it I truly want? How do I feel about myself? Who am I trying to be?
After all, the only person that you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with, and the person who really should be the greatest love of your life, is you.
As a matter of fact, you are already the person that you spend every moment with - day in, and day out. You are already the person who knows yourself like no one else does. The person who knows all of your secrets. The person who has always been there, and always will be.
The thing is, we often get distracted by that other person. Sometimes we catch ourselves wondering about that other special someone...
What are they thinking? What might they want? What are they looking for? What can I do to be the thing that they want?
Many of us do this all the time - even when we haven’t even met this person yet. I’ll even catch myself thinking about this complete stranger, and wondering if he ever wonders about me...
Who am I? What am I doing? When will we meet? What will it be like?
I hope he doesn’t.
Instead, I hope he’s living in the moment. I hope that he’s focusing on himself. And I hope that he is enjoying this time in his life for what it is. His time. Not mine, and not ours. Just his.
And I hope that he is happy and inspired, steadily going after his dream, and not wasting any time waiting, or hesitating, or wondering, “What if?”.
I hope he is seizing the day and getting the most out of every experience, every lesson, and every moment of triumph, even if just for himself.
I hope that he is learning how to enjoy life, and how to make himself feel happy, and whole.
And if I can hope all of these things for him, this person that I have yet to begin loving, let alone meet, perhaps it is high time I begin to pay myself the same level of devotion.
Perhaps I am worthy of the same love and attention that I keep so readily available for this person who has yet to walk into my life.
Perhaps that time and energy could be spent on the me, who is not yet part of a we, but still equally worth loving.
Perhaps we can wait.
Because life does not, and whatever season I happen to be living in, right here and now, I intend to live in, with my whole heart.
- Kale Bajowsky